NEARING THE CROSSROADS

I like the imagery behind the title of the Explosions In The Sky song, 'The Birth And Death Of The Day'. When I decided to use it as post label for entries that related to my experience with moving to Virginia, it was because it captured the hopes and disappointment of daring to take risks. It embodies the recklessness of pushing the envelope of things, no matter how measured the risks were.



The reasons for not to have come here are legion. One of the more sinsister reasons can be framed in the words, 'the story that we tell ourselves'. Because there are different points of views, truth is generally subjective in the realm of relationships. But I take umbrage at some of what the SFC has said about our relationship.



One is the idea that this was one of her whims of being a heroine, coming to the rescue. That is the most troubling because I remember as we reconnected, stressing to her how I felt about the direction of my life and that I did not need saving.

It hurts for me to think that after she floated the idea of us being a couple, that she saw herself as 'rescuing me'. My approach to relationships has not been altered and remains in force. She continues to remind me of the incident where my money was stolen from me... and that occured AFTER she and I talked about getting together. I remember telling her that I was fine and going in the direction of my heart.

For her to tell herself that... as if she was doing me a favour... well!

I have accepted that the consequence of our paths crossing before was my responsibility alone. But this, I won't ever take blame for. She should have left me alone.