... and it usually ends with an whimper...

AND SHOULDN'T IT ALWAYS BE SO..?


I mean no matter what kind of incident brought it upon one, isn't all death like that?  Perhaps the truly tortured and demented deaths that are documented in the horror movies like 'Saw' aren't, but on the whole, death is quiet when it steals into a life.  Or in a relationship.


The drama begins when one party does not wish the end to be so, or maybe they feel cheated out of their 'just desserts', of payback and their pound of flesh that they hope to exact from the other party.  Who knows and who cares, that is what I say.  If you are done with me, then we are done.  If there are any hard feelings, you better believe I am going to keep them to myself and keep on stepping.


Nebraska and I won't be a couple... and while I don't want to put 'ever', it is certainly looking like it will be 'ever'.  Though when I first set out for Omaha and for the latest 'love of my life', I did not think that I would ever get involved with anyone else.  It wasn't that I was all anti-relationship or anything like that, but I did feel that I was getting distracted by the whole 'loveship' thing, and that my priorities (as well as priority to my partner) was being overlooked and diminished.  Moving to Omaha would put some distance to much of the psychic 'drag coefficient' that made staying in Detroit prohibitive to me.


Objectively, I still feel the same about Nebraska.  She is still beautiful and has plenty to offer a man in a relationship.  I don't want to speculate too much further on what happened that we did not connect because to do so, I think, would also be to speculate on a solution.  Right now, I don't want or need to repair our relationship.  Her issues, as far as I objectively can see them, are her issues.  They do not impact on me, as we no longer a 'couple of mutual interest', at least on my end of the ledger.


Having explained to her how I don't have a desire to 'hang out' or demand the company of friends, I think that our friendship is unlikely.  I don't want to be around her and her girls, fearing that they may see me as a paramour along with a family friend.  While I trust in her ability to keep the distinction clear to them, I still have concerns of my own.


Remembering the fantasy that I had of me and all three of my girls being at the State Fair, it was just that; Me, Bria Kelly, Kennedy Taylor and Meagan Alexandria walking down the midway.  In essence, the part of me that made certain that I was moving for my own best interest spoke through that dream.  And should it come to that, that will be more than fine for me.