IN THE O'DARK HOURS OF A NEW BEGINNING

Thank you for the conversation last night. It made me feel so much better. I do love you Mark.
My step sister forwarded this today and I thought how timely to receive it. Most times, I skip over all those forwarded emails, but it was meant to be read today.
I am at peace with you leaving for Virginia. You didn't see me as the right fit for you and that is okay. It's your life and you have to do what is best for you. Someday, I will have to make that decision for me and my family.
My wish and hope for you is happiness and love. I mean that Mark. I think you are a good man and you deserve those blessings. Always remember your promiseL: If it's not for you, Omaha will be waiting. Don't take any crap. As your friend first...I'll be there for you.
Have a wonderful life Mr. Johnson. Again, I do love and sincerely care about you.

I don't know if we will ever talk again, let alone get a chance to be with one another. I hope not.

Nebraska has been a revelation the past three months. Since I got back from my first visit to Virginia in July, we have explored new areas of our relationship. But they were things that we should have been discussing months ago.

Should I have pressed her more? That was part of the purpose of NOT pressing. I wanted someone to let me know that they wanted me. I understand that I have my faults, but this is a different stage of the game. I know that I am not only capable of making a good life, but I am a great and loving partner. I don't think of myself as the 'How Soon Is Now?' character ... I don't think I have a new 'theme song' for my life.

I think that I am finally going to get a chance to just 'live'.

This is what I wanted ... someone who knew me and wanted me. Someone who was aware of my potential and was going to help me maximize myself. A person who could understand that what they did for me, they would get back in many ways. And I already know that is what the SFC is all about.

I can remember wondering what she saw in the cat she hung with where we were stationed together... wondering why she and I didn't ever get that 'close' since we were already right next to one another. I mean, the one thing was I like full figured women, is most obvious!

But I also did think that I should not bother someone who I worked with. The one time that I did, messing with SD near the end of my run working, was a tension filled relationship. If anything, it proved the rule.

For real, I am getting a chance to be with my best friend and lover. I can't imagine a better circumstance for me to be in. The SFC fills my heart and with things being this close ... I am ecstatic! Finally, something super good has finally happened to me, like the stories I have seen and heard about happening to other people. Now I have to make sure that it has a great run and a happy ending!!