Now, my issue with her is this ... there is a way you act to show that you are receptive to someone, and then there are behaviours you choose when you aren't that interested in someone.
Doesn't matter why to me, but that IT IS. I don't think that calling her to have her 'stiff arm' me with stilted, forced conversation is something I am interested in. The few times we have spoken over the phone, that is what I felt. Same as far as when we were together. The 'fairies' that were present when we first went out, took the day off when we got together this time ...
Not to say that I don't feel the same way about her that I have always have, but I wonder what she feels about me, and just as important, what direction she is going in with her life. If her realistic goals are compatible with mine.
That she wants an H3 ...
There is going to be some mission creep, but I will do what I have to in order to avoid it. Nixxie says she would let me hang while I visited KT in Carolina, which is a contrast to Sandie, who wants me to do it on my own. So that is that with that. Perhaps something will happen on the backside of visiting KT ... I have to go thru Atlanta anyway. But if Sandie gives me grief, I won't worry about it.
Did email her a sparse, to the point note. Told her it wasn't an option me staying somewhere in Atlanta alone. Will give her a week, then think about how I am going to get to Carolina to visit.
Showing posts with label Tee Jay. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Tee Jay. Show all posts
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Friday, November 7, 2008
Now that THAT'S over!
HE'S ELECTED
President Obama represents hope for me. Faith. I wanted to be on the right side of history, and I believe that I am.
Sen. McCain is a shadow of the person he was, when I first noticed him for real in his bid for the Republican nomination in '00. The dirty tricks corrupted him, and he let 'them' get to him. Fortunately, fate was not on his side. Neither him or Palin, were the people for the country or the times. I hope that Palin is revealed to be a flash in the pan. She drips of hypocrisy and is a social danger to American society.
If you ever wondered how 'The Dark Ages' came to pass, it was when people as flawed as Palin were elevated to leadership positions.
Good President or not, for me, hope won. Now, what is it that I am hoping for?
NEBRASKA OR TEE JAY?
How lonely am I? When Tee Jay and I speak, she says what I need to hear from someone. Just like I say the things she needs someone to say, unbidden and volunteered, with no strings attached. Like we did when we first met.
There has to be a process to this, and I am still working things out. I don't expect to go forward with anything until I know what it is I am doing, and I know where it is I am heading. I don't think I have to have an 'exact destination', as I think I am one of those 'people'.
That is why when Russ reminded me that 'I think too much', I kept it in steady rotation. It was something that I have known for some time and that I can get lost in my thoughts. Since I keep walking up and down the steps trying to remember what it is I went to one place looking for, 'thinking' isn't something I can afford to get lost in.
The election is the bell weather for that. It is telling me to hope for what I want, and never stop believing that 'I can happen'. Do I need to know how, or do I need to get going on being somewhere other than where I am? This is one of the few 'can't lose' choices I am going to have in my life. The committment is what is going to matter.
GOING BACK TO 'THINKING'
I don't know what Nebraska needs to 'see' to be different regarding me. I don't brag about my relationships, because a real cat doesn't need to, but this isn't what I am accustomed to. Maybe it is the difference, or it could be that what she sees in 'us' isn't something she wants to get used to or is looking for.
She makes me think too much. I know the difference between my wanting her, and her wanting me. Don't get me wrong, because I am looking forward to establishing myself in a new place and 'going exploring' with Calvin and Hobbes. But I could do that here. Or in North Carolina. Maybe Georgia with Sandie. I also have a fondness for Columbus, and that would be a totally new place, where when the rubber meets the road, it is all on ME.
If I can just 'date' Tee Jay and let things evolve, who knows? I want to take things out west first, to see for myself 'what's what'. After that, I will make my move.
IT'S THE LONLINESS, STUPID
That is what I am fighting right now. The Librarian left me hanging. Maybe I will take another shot at her. I can keep my distance and still have a friend. Pretty confident with how this celibacy thing is working out, so I can deal with that.
SD sent me pictures of her trip to China. She looked like she had a ball, as it was a working vacay. She is ... too much thought. I don't like the slot she has for me in her life. Maybe that is how it is going to be for me, no matter what. New 'what's happenin', old flames, I got to get a handle on the environment.
But I told myself that I won't worry about this until after the first of the year, and I meant it. So make it happen, Mark!
President Obama represents hope for me. Faith. I wanted to be on the right side of history, and I believe that I am.
Sen. McCain is a shadow of the person he was, when I first noticed him for real in his bid for the Republican nomination in '00. The dirty tricks corrupted him, and he let 'them' get to him. Fortunately, fate was not on his side. Neither him or Palin, were the people for the country or the times. I hope that Palin is revealed to be a flash in the pan. She drips of hypocrisy and is a social danger to American society.
If you ever wondered how 'The Dark Ages' came to pass, it was when people as flawed as Palin were elevated to leadership positions.
Good President or not, for me, hope won. Now, what is it that I am hoping for?
NEBRASKA OR TEE JAY?
How lonely am I? When Tee Jay and I speak, she says what I need to hear from someone. Just like I say the things she needs someone to say, unbidden and volunteered, with no strings attached. Like we did when we first met.
There has to be a process to this, and I am still working things out. I don't expect to go forward with anything until I know what it is I am doing, and I know where it is I am heading. I don't think I have to have an 'exact destination', as I think I am one of those 'people'.
That is why when Russ reminded me that 'I think too much', I kept it in steady rotation. It was something that I have known for some time and that I can get lost in my thoughts. Since I keep walking up and down the steps trying to remember what it is I went to one place looking for, 'thinking' isn't something I can afford to get lost in.
The election is the bell weather for that. It is telling me to hope for what I want, and never stop believing that 'I can happen'. Do I need to know how, or do I need to get going on being somewhere other than where I am? This is one of the few 'can't lose' choices I am going to have in my life. The committment is what is going to matter.
GOING BACK TO 'THINKING'
I don't know what Nebraska needs to 'see' to be different regarding me. I don't brag about my relationships, because a real cat doesn't need to, but this isn't what I am accustomed to. Maybe it is the difference, or it could be that what she sees in 'us' isn't something she wants to get used to or is looking for.
She makes me think too much. I know the difference between my wanting her, and her wanting me. Don't get me wrong, because I am looking forward to establishing myself in a new place and 'going exploring' with Calvin and Hobbes. But I could do that here. Or in North Carolina. Maybe Georgia with Sandie. I also have a fondness for Columbus, and that would be a totally new place, where when the rubber meets the road, it is all on ME.
If I can just 'date' Tee Jay and let things evolve, who knows? I want to take things out west first, to see for myself 'what's what'. After that, I will make my move.
IT'S THE LONLINESS, STUPID
That is what I am fighting right now. The Librarian left me hanging. Maybe I will take another shot at her. I can keep my distance and still have a friend. Pretty confident with how this celibacy thing is working out, so I can deal with that.
SD sent me pictures of her trip to China. She looked like she had a ball, as it was a working vacay. She is ... too much thought. I don't like the slot she has for me in her life. Maybe that is how it is going to be for me, no matter what. New 'what's happenin', old flames, I got to get a handle on the environment.
But I told myself that I won't worry about this until after the first of the year, and I meant it. So make it happen, Mark!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
